Speaking to Someone with Trauma

Trauma affects millions of people worldwide. In the U.S. alone, it is estimated that 6% of the population experiences post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at some point in their lives (National Institutes of Health). How we speak to those struggling can encourage healing — or it can deepen their sense of isolation.

Trauma impacts each person differently, so it’s important to approach conversations about trauma with sensitivity and care. The language you use can validate someone’s experience or unintentionally dismiss their pain.

When talking to someone who may be experiencing trauma, remember the following:

• Be mindful of your language. Use terms like “trauma” and “PTSD” carefully and avoid casual or dismissive contexts. For example, jokingly saying, “I have PTSD from that movie” could trivialize real struggles.
• Ask for permission to discuss sensitive topics. Let others set the boundaries of what they’re comfortable sharing.
• Don’t pry for details. Avoid pressuring someone to recount their experience, as this can re-traumatize them. Anticipate potential triggers. Be aware of environments or topics that might exacerbate their symptoms and try to create a sense of safety.
• Avoid an immediate instinct to “fix” how they feel. Instead, focus on active listening and saying things like, “That sounds hard,” or “I can understand why you feel that way.”
• Validate their feelings. Let them know their emotions are real and worthy of attention. Avoid minimizing their experience by comparing it to others.
• Don’t take their behavior personally. Trauma can influence how someone interacts with others. Their reactions are likely not about you.
• Encourage treatment gently and reassure them that seeking help is okay. Share that recovery is possible with professional help, but acknowledge it can be challenging. Support them in finding resources or therapy if they’re open to it.