Re-Thinking Sobriety
and Relapse

Sobriety has long been thought of in binary terms — you’re either sober or you’re not. That black-and-white way of thinking doesn’t match what we know now about addiction. Today, people understand that recovery is a journey, not a straight line. Instead of calling it a “relapse” when someone uses again, we’re encouraging you to think of it as a return to use.

That small change in language has a big impact. The word “relapse” implies failure and can cause people to feel humiliated and hopeless. Feeling ashamed or guilty after a return to use can actually make things worse: research shows that  shame is linked to depression and return to use in people recovering from addiction (Addictive Behaviors). If we stop seeing a return to use as a failure, we can support healing rather than encourage hiding.

Changing how we understand recovery

It’s estimated that 40-60% of people in recovery from substance use disorder (SUD) return to use at some point (Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation) — almost the same as the return rate for people managing chronic diseases like asthma or diabetes. We don’t shame someone for needing more treatment when their asthma flares up, and we shouldn’t do it to those who are in recovery.

Think of it like a modern video game: if you mess up once, you don’t lose everything and go back to Level 1 — you go back to your saved level. The skills, lessons and progress you’ve made are still with you. A return to use doesn’t mean you’ve lost all your progress. It just means you need to try again and keep going.

Being open to treatment methods

IThis is especially important when we think about how recovery works for different people. Studies show that people are more likely to stay in recovery if they use methods that fit their own needs, such as therapy, peer support, medication for addiction treatment (MAT), or step-down strategies like vaping or medical marijuana. Depending on which substance is at play, MAT in particular has been shown to be effective, with studies indicating that it can cut the risk of overdose death by 50% (JAMA) and help people stay in treatment longer. This kind of support, along with flexible treatment options, helps people meet their recovery goals.

Groups like the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) also encourage a more flexible view of recovery. Their approach, called the ASAM Criteria, looks at the whole person — mental health, environment, physical health and more — and builds a plan based on everyone’s unique needs. That includes checking in often and changing the treatment if needed.

Recovery is a lifelong process. You’re not failing if you need more help along the way, and you’re not weak if you return to use. Every step forward counts.