Living in a World of Substances: Your New Social Life in Recovery 

When recovering from substance use, one of the hardest parts is figuring out how to stay connected to the people in your life. In the past, the advice was simple: cut off anyone who isn’t sober. But for many people, this method doesn’t work because it leads to loneliness and isolation that further harms mental health. Socializing is a part of being human, and that doesn’t change when you enter recovery. Having a solid support system during this time is more important than ever. One study found that people with strong social support were twice as likely to stay substance-free long-term (National Library of Medicine). When you feel supported and understood, you’re less likely to return to unhealthy habits.

Identifying your support system

What matters most is whether people respect your journey. Are they rooting for you? Do they listen when you decline a drink? Some of the best supporters might still enjoy a glass of wine or a beer at a party, but they also care about you and your goals.

If someone pressures you to use again, or makes you feel guilty for changing, they’re not someone who belongs in your inner circle. However, if a longtime friend who drinks socially encourages your recovery, you don’t have to say goodbye to that relationship. There are skills that can be learned and built over time that can help you manage these situations.

Understanding how to create space for your friends during your recovery is a critical skill. It is frequently necessary to recruit a trusted mentor, religious leader, counselor or therapist to help understand the push and pull involved in navigating relationships early in the journey.

Existing with substances

Learning how to encounter substances without using them is a skill that takes time, patience and practice. That might mean going to a birthday dinner where others have a drink or attending a cookout where people are vaping or sipping beer. Know yourself and your body — if at any point you feel an urge to use, let your friends know and leave if you need to. 

For those who rely on a sponsor, give them a call and provide an update before and after a social outing where you expect there will be casual substance use. When you are with people who respect your boundaries, these moments can serve as a reminder of the shared love involved in healthy relationships. Finding those reminders that you are still part of the world, even when it includes substances that you are choosing not to use, can feel enlightening and is easier to find when you’re in the right mindset and the right company. Recovery is about learning to live life again, fully, socially and safely. With the right people around you, you don’t have to give up connection to protect your recovery.