Parenting an LGBTQ+ Child

As parents, our responses to our children’s identity profoundly influence their well-being. LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers (The Trevor Project). Showing your acceptance, patience and commitment to advocacy, even if it challenges your own beliefs or reservations, can help your child thrive.

How to respond

When a child comes out, the words we choose matter. Dismissing a child’s identity by saying things like “It’s just a phase” can be invalidating and hurtful. Instead, affirm their feelings by expressing support: “Thank you for sharing this with me. I love you, and I’m here for you.” This validation fosters trust and open communication.

Coming to terms with your own feelings

It’s natural for parents to grapple with personal beliefs or uncertainties upon learning about their child’s LGBTQ+ identity. The important thing is to prioritize your child’s emotional and mental health over your own discomfort. You can begin by educating yourself about LGBTQ+ issues, seeking support from organizations like PFLAG and The Child Mind Institute in reaching acceptance and connecting with other parents on similar journeys.

The impact of acceptance on health

Studies have shown the profound impact of parental acceptance on LGBTQ+ youth. Research from the Family Acceptance Project found that family acceptance during adolescence is associated with better young adult mental health. Conversely, rejection can lead to increased risks of depression, substance use and suicidal ideation (National Institutes of Health).

Becoming an advocate

You can show your support for your child in several ways, including:

• Educating Yourself: Learn about LGBTQ+ topics to better understand your child’s experiences.
• Creating a Safe Environment: Ensure your home is a haven where your child feels safe and accepted.
• Standing Up against Discrimination: Challenge homophobic or transphobic remarks, whether in family settings or the broader community.
• Supporting Their Social Circles: Encourage friendships with peers who respect and affirm their identity.

As parents, our love and support are the most powerful tools we have to guide our children toward a fulfilling life. By serving as a champion for our children, we can help them face the world with confidence.