Advocating for Needs that Come with Aging

As people get older, they often require increased support to accomplish tasks like driving, cooking or remembering medications. Many older adults need increased medical support and may worry about how they’ll afford health expenses or what will happen if they can no longer make decisions on their own. These are difficult issues to discuss, but they need to be addressed. If you care for someone who is aging, speak up early to help them plan for their future.

Estate planning

Establishing a will is incredibly important to protect a person’s life savings and assets. It can be uncomfortable to talk to a loved one about a will because it feels like a reminder of the end of life. But it is necessary to make sure their wishes are honored, and can support family in settling their affairs. In 2024, only 32% of U.S. adults reported having a will (Wills and Estate Planning Study), and many wait until they are in their 60s or older to create one. Even at that age, American adults are not taking time to prepare their wills: the percentage of over-70 households with wills or trusts has declined in recent years.

Having a will helps divide possessions fairly, avoid family conflict and settle final expenses. In addition to a will, it is important to name a power of attorney, which is someone who can make medical or financial decisions if your loved one can’t. If they haven’t done any of this, you can start by asking: “Have you thought about what you’d like to pass on to family and friends after you’re gone?” Be sensitive to how they’d like to speak about planning for their family once they’re no longer with you. Offer to help research options, set up appointments or just listen.

Talking about driving

There comes a time when driving may no longer be a safe activity for our aging loved ones. The decision to stop driving can feel like a huge loss of independence, but safety has to come first. Between 2021 and 2022, the number of people aged 65 and over killed in motor vehicle crashes increased by 6 percent (National Highway Traffic Association), and data from the Insurance Institute of Highway Safety and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration indicate that crash rates increase as drivers reach their late 70s and 80s.

Having a conversation about driving can be delicate. One tactful way to start is with observations: “I noticed you had a little trouble parking the other day — are you still feeling comfortable behind the wheel?” Talk about alternatives to driving themselves, such as a family schedule where people alternate giving rides, or signing up for a senior transportation service. The goal is not to take away freedom, but to offer safe, reliable alternatives for transportation. 

When living at home isn't safe anymore

Most older adults want to stay in their own homes as long as possible, but sometimes their health or safety demands more help than we can give. While less than 3% of U.S. adults over 65 live in assisted living or nursing homes (A Place for Mom), more are expected to enter facilities as our population ages. For some, that move is necessary.

When having that conversation, be compassionate. Instead of saying, “You have to move,” try, “We want to make sure you’re safe. Let’s talk about what would help you feel supported every day.” Offer to tour facilities with them and ask what’s important — for example, having their own furniture, being near family or finding a place with good meals, care and social activities.

Advocating for an aging loved one requires tact, compassion and patience, but being willing to have tough conversations now can help improve safety and quality of life in their later years.