Accepting Help
as a Caregiver

For many, caregiving is expected based on circumstances or cultural norms.  Fourteen percent of adults in their 40s and 50s have already cared for an aging parent or other elderly family member (Pew Research Center). The expectation to devote your life to a loved one who needs special care may have come without question — so much so that you may see it as a duty and struggle to accept the support that the role deserves. Caregiving can come in many forms, like:

• Helping an aging parent manage daily tasks or their health
• Supporting a spouse through a long-term illness
• Caring for a child, sibling or relative with a disability
• Raising a child whose parents are unable

What caregiving can look like

In the U.S., 53 million people provide care for a spouse, elderly parent or relative, or someone with special needs (Guardian Life). According to the most recent studies, 3.2% of children in the U.S. — that’s 2.7 million — are being raised by a grandparent (U.S. Department of Labor). Many children are helping with caregiving as well. There are more than four million parents with disabilities who have children under 18 in the U.S. (National Research Center for Parents with Disabilities).

Caregiving often brings a heavy emotional and financial toll. On average, family caregivers spend over $7,200 a year out of their own pockets (AARP) to support their loved ones. Beyond the dollars, caregiving can cost time, energy and personal freedom. While it’s an act of love, it can also feel isolating, exhausting and unfair.

Accepting your feelings, and help, as a caregiver

Simply put, if you’re supporting someone else’s daily well-being, you deserve both recognition for your dedication and help if you need it. Whomever you care for, it’s okay to talk about it when things are hard. It doesn’t mean you feel less for your loved one. You might feel guilty, like you’re not doing enough, or like you shouldn’t feel tired or frustrated, but these emotions are normal and don’t make you a bad person. They just make you human.

Give yourself permission to feel everything that comes with caregiving. When it gets overwhelming, ask for help. Talk to a trusted adult, reach out to family, look for support groups or speak to a counselor. You don’t have to do this alone.